Sincere

I'm in the middle of working and I'm stuck on it when undesirably a strange thought comes into my mind.

It's easy saying ikhlas, or sincerity, in daily life. But unfortunately, acting as a mukhlis, or person with sincerity, is really hard. One of the hardest, maybe.

I said I'm sincere, I let it go.
But I kept hatred to things where it went to.
And sincerity is never coming together with hatred, curses, nor bad wishes.
So I lied when I was saying I'm sincere.
In other words, I wasn't sincere.
Why should I imprecate on things happened as His will?
I was afraid of losing. I was afraid to get nothing as a return.
But even an absence is a presence. So why should I bother? It was an instant exchange.
I, unconsciously, cursed God by my insincerity.
I, superciliously, thought that what I thought would be better than what He thought.
I put myself above the one whom I said I surrender myself to, God.
This only has a meaning.
I didn't have a faith in God.
Insincerity is the absence of faith in God.

Haruki Murakami - Norwegian Wood

NORWEGIAN WOOD
By Haruki Murakami (1987)
Translated by Jay Rubin
Published by Vintage in 2003
386 pages

This is the first book written in english I've ever read completely and as this book is a good read, I will write my review here. Okay this is also my first book review ever.

The story was about Toru Watanabe, a young Japanese boy who fell in love to Naoko, his dead-bestfriend's girl. Naoko's boyfriend, Kizuki, killed himself once he was 17 years old. Since that time, Naoko and Toru had never seen each other for about two years, and they met again accidentally in Tokyo where both of them studied in university.

Lost in Sulawesi - Day 2: Toraja, the Land of Deads (Part 2)

Dari post sebelumnya:

Gue, Dara, dan Dana terbang ke Makassar dan langsung pergi ke Tana Toraja. Kami bermalam di rumah teman gue, Anggi, yang asli orang Toraja. Pagi ini kami pergi ke lokasi pemakaman pertama di Rante Lemo.

Menjelang siang, perjalanan kami lanjutkan ke Londa, di mana orang daerah tersebut memakamkan keluarganya di gua yang terletak di sana.

Kerbau aduan di pintu masuk Londa

Kami menyewa sebuah lampu gas seharga Rp30,000 untuk membantu penerangan selama berada di dalam gua, serta seorang pemandu (dengan bayaran seikhlasnya yang biasanya, katanya, sebesar Rp20,000). Menurut pemandu tersebut, makam di Londa ini khusus diperuntukkan bagi anggota marga Tolengke.